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April 22, 2021 April 22, 2021

Probing the nether regions — this review’s for you!

Posted on April 7, 2021 by Taber Times

By Stan Ashbee
Taber Times
editor@tabertimes.com

To bidet or not to bidet — pure luxury or worth a flush down the drain?

This seriously has to be one of the greatest descriptions of a product — ever! “Like snowflakes, no two buttholes are the same. Find the TUSHY that’s perfect for you and your clean butt needs.”

According to the company, the TUSHY Classic 3.0 bidet washes your bum with a refreshing clean stream of water after you poop. It’s a simple line for a simple job. Remember, everybody poops, there’s even a book about it.

So, this somewhat primitive bidet supposedly features optimized pressure plus angle control for a targeted spray on your pooper, includes everything for an easy install in under nine minutes, requires no electricity or plumbing and has an automatic self-cleaning nozzle. This, all according to product features.

There’s also the TUSHY Spa 3.0, which is said to be — “The most thoughtful bidet in the world with warm water.” The user can adjust the temperature and pressure with the turn of a knob.

I’m no poop expert, but a bidet was an ideal addition to the Ashbee household. But, warm water would’ve felt better on the tuches, that’s for sure. In my loo, the classic TUSHY provides the family with a new-found freedom. Don’t get me wrong, the Classic gets the job done and the technological wizardry is quite a refreshing little ditty. But, once again, the frigid water does get a bit cool on the old you know what. So, it probably would be best to spring for the Spa for some warmer temps underneath the ye olde carriage.

Another aspect of the unit was the install. I have had the bidet for many weeks now and still the bidet has yet to be installed properly, as proper plastic screws are needed to secure it in place on the toilet (the bidet comes with standard ones). I even went out and got bigger screws and still no luck. But, I plan on getting even bigger screws to hopefully fix the issue. So, that isn’t the grandest of things when you go to sit down and your toilet seat moves around like a bull in a china shop. To the credit of the company, instructions note about the possible issue with the screws possibly not being the right fit.

Overall, the TUSHY Classic is a great introduction to the intricate and personal world of butt spray cleaning. The first time was indeed magical and I would recommend bathroom enthusiasts to be a little adventurous with their toileting needs.

Another bathroom piece of advice, if you haven’t tried it already, is the line of Poo-Pourri fragrances. It is life-changing, these gifts from the gods of making something smelly into something aromatic and much more friendlier to the nose.

It’s official description is, “It’s Only Natural! Most odour eliminators are as ‘natural’ as pleather pants — but not Poo-Pourri. When we say natural, we actually mean it. Made with a blend of natural essential oils and other top secret ingredients, our revolutionary Before-You-Go Toilet Spray makes going #2 easy-breezy without making you sneezy.” What another great product description.

Some of their “Best Smellers” include Original Citrus, Royal Flush, Lavender Vanilla, Tropical Hibiscus and Pink Citron — plus there are even seasonal favourites for stocking stuffers, gift sets and the like.

For more information on at-home personal bidets visit hellotushy.com. Your butt will be thankful you did.

B.C. brewery continues to do it right!

There’s Encore, a tart saison. There’s Thunder Meadows, an IPA and there’s Nomad, a “wild” IPA. These three craft brews are a delight from Fernie Brewing Co. It wasn’t a surprise these three selections are top-notch — most of the brewery’s products are tasty, sip-savoury, delicious and leaves you wanting more.

Out of the three, the Encore was my personal fave, as it stood out among the trifecta of libations. But, as I tell most craft brew noobs, saisons are not for everybody. It’s an acquired taste. Except this one is an exception, as a person just dipping their toe in the craft brew vat, Fernie’s tart is a great place to start.

Even though I tend to stay away from IPAs, I have started to enjoy them and these two from Fernie Brewing are easy on the palette, but strong-enough for a veteran IPA’er. Both are in the vein of a traditional Oregon-esque IPA and stand on their own as a stellar strong beer with a great refreshing mouth feel.

For the uninitiated, Fernie Brewing is located right off Highway 3 as one drives into the quaint and comfortable community. An unforgettable stop on a scenic journey through the Rockies. Sample, have a pint or two and fill a growler of on-tap goodness — your tastebuds will thank you for it.

Basic garb delivered right to your door

Thanks to getbasic.com, I had a shirt, ginch and socks delivered to my home through a monthly subscription service. These services are taking the Inter-web by storm, as consumers are able to pick a specific subscription service (for just about anything these days, including beer, candles, cookies, popcorn, pickles, pop culture wares and wonders — and even a Jelly of the Month Club).

With the Get Basic monthly subscription for men and/or women, “Expect a matching shirt, a pair of underwear and socks that are super soft and made from natural and sustainable fabrics,” it was stated on the website. “And the best part is, there is no commitment, so feel free to pause or cancel anytime,” it was added.

A person selects their size, picks a plan and checks their mail in the weeks to come.

I have to admit, the gonch I received was amazing and felt wonderful. Probably, one of the best underwear garments I have worn. So, yay, Get Basic. A job well-done.

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